Taking out the trash
This morning I had to drive the hour round trip down to my trailer park to throw out the last piece of trash. Actually it's not really a trailer park but an RV park. I just use trailer park because it sounds more dramatic and alliterates so well with the word "trash." Most of my tenants are senior citizens living hand to mouth on social security. Many are disabled veterans or injured loggers and former professional fishermen. They've earned their keep through the years doing some of the most dangerous jobs there are. I treasure them and take good care of them but I've had my share of trash in the park.
When I first bought it three years ago, I had to kick out a bunch of trash and since then the park has gotten a good reputation and I have a waiting list of people wanting to live there. However I also made my own share of mistakes with new tenants. During my first winter there I had so many vacant spaces that I could barely make the mortgage payments so I started letting people move in even when my instincts told me that they were trouble. Also, I'm a sucker for anyone who claims to be a veteran and I got burned badly by a few of them before I learned that not all veterans are honorable men. A couple of weeks ago I decided that I had enough people on a waiting list wanting to move in that I could start throwing out the few remaining peices of trash. I found out that three trashy tenants were tweakers and evicted them. That left only one piece of human garbage to toss out.
In July I let a guy move in against my better judgement because he claimed to be a disabled veteran. I did not like him from the get-go. He was just too full of bravado. He claimed that he had been a bouncer for 12 years and would help me take care of problems with trouble-makers. Now, the guy stands about six feet six inches and is about four feet wide and weighs over 300 pounds so I believed the bouncer story but there was still something about him that I couldn't put my finger on that made me not trust him. He claimed to be a veteran of the Gulf War and was not obviously a totally trashy person so I let him move in.
As soon as he moved in, he started drinking and was drunk before noon everyday. I can't do anything about that if he stays in his own home and doesn't cause trouble. I can easily throw out druggies because they are committing a crime but I can only throw drunks out if they commit a crime like being drunk and disorderly in public. So, I tolerated his drunkeness but kept a wary eye on him to see what other trouble would ensue.
Then it happened. Two weeks ago he told me that he couldn't pay all of his rent on time and asked if I could wait until he got his disability check in two weeks. I agreed to let him pay two weeks rent instead of a month but told him that that was a favor which I only granted to people whom I had known for years and who have had a good record of paying rent on time and that, as a result of the bad impression this had made on me, he could not remain after the two weeks was up and had to move out.
His rent ran out today and he was supposed to move out by 11 am. So I put on a brave face and my best silk shirt (I figured I might as well be a well-dressed corpse) and drove down to the park to make sure he had left. While I was driving down to the park, I ran through a couple of scenarios in my head. Most of these trashy folk are very predictable. They all have similar sob stories and the same old tired excuses and many of them threaten violence when cornered so I prepared myself and decided that, if he threatened violence, I would tell him to go ahead because I'd have him thrown in jail for assault. I was certain that, unlike the druggies, he would simply threaten violence and not do anything so I didn't need a gun.
When I got to the park, I saw that he had not left. My assistant manager told me that he had paid for an extra day and would move out tomorrow. I went to his trailer to let him know that check out time was 11 am and that, if he was not gone by that time, I would tow his trailer out of the park and have it impounded. Yes, he was just as predictable as the rest of the human garbage I've had to deal with in my life. I had drunken trash in my own family and learned at an early age how to survive.
He said: "I'll leave when I want."
Me: "No, you'll leave when I say you'll leave."
Him" "Don't make me come over there and beat the shit out of you."
Me: "Come on. Do it."
Him: "You think old an f...er like you can take me on?"
Me: "Maybe I could but I won't. Just come and take a punch at me. Come on. I promise I won't punch you back because the moment you lay a finger on me you'll be in jail for assault. I've been beaten up before and had my nose and jaw broken and it's painful but not the end of the world. Come on, big boy. Come and smack your daddy. Take a swipe at this old f...er."
As predicted he didn't but instead started whining that I was a "filthy capitalist pig" and he would not go to jail for hitting a piece of shit like me. I told him that I would be back tomorrow morning at 11 am and he'd better be gone or I'd tow his trailer and then I walked away, came home, had a cup of tea and took a short nap to get rid of the tension that had built up in my body. I'm not scared of being punched and, thanks to my dad insisting that I learn boxing, I know how to protect myself in case my assailant goes ape but obviously I feel some fear which causes tension.
Tomorrow I'll go back but this time I'll take Andy with me as a witness in case he threatens violence again. Threatening violence is a misdemeanor and, while the cops arrest him and throw him in jail, I'll tow his trailer out of the park.
He's the last of the trash in the park and, from now on, I will not let myself be suckered by someone just because they claim to be a veteran. It's the third time a socalled "veteran" has burned me and the last.
If anyone thinks I'm a filthy cigar-smoking capitalist pig who sits on his lazy bum all day counting my shekels, they are welcome to come and do my job. So much for Labor Day - well, I've always had to work on holidays ever since becoming a self-employed capitalist pig.
Here are some pics for your amusement.
One: I wish trailer trash looked like this but they usually look like
Two: This (I added the caption.)
Three: No my park does not look like this. It looks like
Four: This.
When I first bought it three years ago, I had to kick out a bunch of trash and since then the park has gotten a good reputation and I have a waiting list of people wanting to live there. However I also made my own share of mistakes with new tenants. During my first winter there I had so many vacant spaces that I could barely make the mortgage payments so I started letting people move in even when my instincts told me that they were trouble. Also, I'm a sucker for anyone who claims to be a veteran and I got burned badly by a few of them before I learned that not all veterans are honorable men. A couple of weeks ago I decided that I had enough people on a waiting list wanting to move in that I could start throwing out the few remaining peices of trash. I found out that three trashy tenants were tweakers and evicted them. That left only one piece of human garbage to toss out.
In July I let a guy move in against my better judgement because he claimed to be a disabled veteran. I did not like him from the get-go. He was just too full of bravado. He claimed that he had been a bouncer for 12 years and would help me take care of problems with trouble-makers. Now, the guy stands about six feet six inches and is about four feet wide and weighs over 300 pounds so I believed the bouncer story but there was still something about him that I couldn't put my finger on that made me not trust him. He claimed to be a veteran of the Gulf War and was not obviously a totally trashy person so I let him move in.
As soon as he moved in, he started drinking and was drunk before noon everyday. I can't do anything about that if he stays in his own home and doesn't cause trouble. I can easily throw out druggies because they are committing a crime but I can only throw drunks out if they commit a crime like being drunk and disorderly in public. So, I tolerated his drunkeness but kept a wary eye on him to see what other trouble would ensue.
Then it happened. Two weeks ago he told me that he couldn't pay all of his rent on time and asked if I could wait until he got his disability check in two weeks. I agreed to let him pay two weeks rent instead of a month but told him that that was a favor which I only granted to people whom I had known for years and who have had a good record of paying rent on time and that, as a result of the bad impression this had made on me, he could not remain after the two weeks was up and had to move out.
His rent ran out today and he was supposed to move out by 11 am. So I put on a brave face and my best silk shirt (I figured I might as well be a well-dressed corpse) and drove down to the park to make sure he had left. While I was driving down to the park, I ran through a couple of scenarios in my head. Most of these trashy folk are very predictable. They all have similar sob stories and the same old tired excuses and many of them threaten violence when cornered so I prepared myself and decided that, if he threatened violence, I would tell him to go ahead because I'd have him thrown in jail for assault. I was certain that, unlike the druggies, he would simply threaten violence and not do anything so I didn't need a gun.
When I got to the park, I saw that he had not left. My assistant manager told me that he had paid for an extra day and would move out tomorrow. I went to his trailer to let him know that check out time was 11 am and that, if he was not gone by that time, I would tow his trailer out of the park and have it impounded. Yes, he was just as predictable as the rest of the human garbage I've had to deal with in my life. I had drunken trash in my own family and learned at an early age how to survive.
He said: "I'll leave when I want."
Me: "No, you'll leave when I say you'll leave."
Him" "Don't make me come over there and beat the shit out of you."
Me: "Come on. Do it."
Him: "You think old an f...er like you can take me on?"
Me: "Maybe I could but I won't. Just come and take a punch at me. Come on. I promise I won't punch you back because the moment you lay a finger on me you'll be in jail for assault. I've been beaten up before and had my nose and jaw broken and it's painful but not the end of the world. Come on, big boy. Come and smack your daddy. Take a swipe at this old f...er."
As predicted he didn't but instead started whining that I was a "filthy capitalist pig" and he would not go to jail for hitting a piece of shit like me. I told him that I would be back tomorrow morning at 11 am and he'd better be gone or I'd tow his trailer and then I walked away, came home, had a cup of tea and took a short nap to get rid of the tension that had built up in my body. I'm not scared of being punched and, thanks to my dad insisting that I learn boxing, I know how to protect myself in case my assailant goes ape but obviously I feel some fear which causes tension.
Tomorrow I'll go back but this time I'll take Andy with me as a witness in case he threatens violence again. Threatening violence is a misdemeanor and, while the cops arrest him and throw him in jail, I'll tow his trailer out of the park.
He's the last of the trash in the park and, from now on, I will not let myself be suckered by someone just because they claim to be a veteran. It's the third time a socalled "veteran" has burned me and the last.
If anyone thinks I'm a filthy cigar-smoking capitalist pig who sits on his lazy bum all day counting my shekels, they are welcome to come and do my job. So much for Labor Day - well, I've always had to work on holidays ever since becoming a self-employed capitalist pig.
Here are some pics for your amusement.
One: I wish trailer trash looked like this but they usually look like
Two: This (I added the caption.)
Three: No my park does not look like this. It looks like
Four: This.
posted by Joubert at 4:00 PM
The Alliance
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