Terrorist beheaded

Cecil Rhodes (whom I renamed Zarqawi just before beheading him) was executed at 10am on June 16th - about 15 minutes ago. He is now hanging on the clothesline bleeding out prior to being stripped of his beautiful coppery feathers, paraded naked through the barnyard into the fridge and finally put into the oven.

As some of you know, Cecil - er, Zarqawi - was condemned to death last month for terrorising people, raping hens, murdering newborn chicks and general mischief and mayhem. I kept giving him a reprieve because he was so beautiful; standing over 2 feet tall, with the strut of a ghetto gangster and a crow that could be heard a mile away.

But he was hell on the rest of the fowl population. The two white leghorns who are our best egg-layers had been raped so often that they had no feathers on their backs and were completely terrorised into quivering neurotics. I thought of letting him run loose in the barnyard but, after realizing that he would eat my asparagus, terrorize the cats and kill my two darling defenseless chihuahuas, I finally signed the death warrant.

Chas and Andy were pleased because they hated him. Cecil/Zarqawi had attacked both of them many times. He never attacked me but used to do break-dancing for me instead and bump endearingly up against my leg. I loved him but he was a problem. Rest in peace, Cecil.