Naked underage redneck chicks and my new cock

Nine times out of ten the dinner conversation among us three merry men of Robin's Wood is the usual stuff that dirty old men talk about: naked underage redneck chicks and politics.

Since politics is so dreary nowadays, we usually end up talking about naked underage redneck chicks. The joint is jumping right now with spring chickens - and ducks - and our new cock.

Yes, I know the more polite word for a male chicken is rooster but it's also inaccurate. All chickens, male and female, roost; therefore they are all roosters. A male chicken is a cock. The euphemism "rooster" was introduced about the same time as the filthy-minded Victorians started putting fabric covers on piano legs. It also coincided with the low-class slang word for penis becoming known to the upper classes. The euphemism stopped the tittering in classrooms.

Last week Andy phoned me from the farm feed store to ask me if I wanted a cock. Of course I said yes - when I found out that it was either an Araucana or an Ameraucana. Apparently some farmer had too many cocks and had dropped three off at the feed store to be adopted (or butchered.) I have been looking for a mild-mannered cock for a while now because I had to execute our last full-sized (not bantam) cock, Cecil Rhodes the Rhode Island Red, because he was a homocidal (henicidal?) rapist. Araucana and Ameraucana cocks are known for being mellow. Sure, they are sex maniacs but all cocks are.

The Ameraucana chicken is the north American version of the Araucana which is native to Chile (named after the Araucana aborigines). It is the only chicken that lays blue eggs and the cocks do not have the usual large "combs." Ameraucanas are easier to breed than Araucanas.

This is an Araucana cock:





















This is an Ameraucana cock:






















Here is my new cock which Chas thinks looks like a Mahomedan terrorist. He is rather ugly but he's not aggressive to the bantam cocks.