Today's naked redneck chick post
Many people don't consciously realize that chickens do not naturally produce eggs for humans to eat. A hen's egg is intended to be fertilized by a rooster and to grow into a baby chick. This is an egg's sole purpose. An egg is no more intended as food, than is the menstruation of a mammal.Kate Gosselin's Hen-Pecked Rooster:
Eggs are laid through what is called a hen's vent. The vent is the cavity chickens use for mating, defecating and laying. Anyone who has collected eggs from a chicken can attest to the fact that, often, the shells will be coated with feces due to this, and the fact that hens will commonly defecate in the boxes they lay in.
Chickens will naturally have two broods of chicks per year. Chickens originally only laid 15 to 35 eggs per year -- again, it would be the hen's hope that all of her eggs would hatch into healthy baby chicks. But when people started keeping chickens as captive animals, they realized that hens could be forced to lay more eggs if they weren't allowed to incubate their prospective babies. If you continue to take a hen's eggs away, her body will not go into its natural brooding period. Instead, she will create more eggs to try and replace those stolen from her, all in an attempt to create chicks.
Over the thousands of years that chickens have been kept by humans, people have selectively bred hens to lay as many eggs as possible. Today, many laying hens breed upwards of 300 eggs per year! There is absolutely nothing natural about this. This is the product of the farmer's desire to create an egg-laying machine from a sentient being. And unfortunately for those beings, the egg industry has almost succeeded in doing just that.
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If they have roosters and all the birds are cage free, that means you are eating fertilized eggs because roosters will mate with as many hens available to them. In other words, that egg is a potential life that would have grown into a baby chick if it hadn't been taken from its mother and she had been allowed to incubate it. Some people may say that hens will simply abandon their eggs even if they are fertilized. This does sometimes happen in younger hens, or in breeds that have been so over bred for egg production, that they barely act like chickens anymore.
If you are vegetarian, eggs are already classified as poultry because they are so similar nutritionally to eating the flesh of the animal. But in the case of fertilized eggs, there is no denying that that is a potential life you are eating.
Don't get too excited, Jon Gosselin didn't make an appearance, but there was some hen pecking on this week's back-to-back episodes of Kate Plus 8.Crowing contest at the County Fair:
Kate Gosselin added up the cost of buying organic eggs each week, and decided she'd just raise them herself.
"I said that's it, we're getting chickens," she said.
And so they did. The children were thrilled, and it seemed to be a great family bonding experience and lesson in working together. She even planned to use the chickens as a discipline tool, saying that those who misbehave will be made to scoop the poop.
But for all the fun of collecting eggs and taking up water in the nice summer weather, I wonder how thrilled they're going to be to make that trek in the dead of winter. Hmmm?
As they prepared for their all-egg meal (egg salad, deviled eggs and egg custard for dessert), they found the rooster of the bunch bloody and battered. He had literally been hen pecked.
The irony wasn't lost on Kate.
"The poor thing was hen pecked ," she said. "They were just relentlessly picking on him and I just needed to get him out of there so he could have some peace, the poor thing. ... There's possibly some irony. We've got issues with roosters."
Diana Roy said her children's roosters crow all day long, often starting at 3:30 a.m.If you're a rooster, it doesn't matter if you're incredibly old:
So it couldn't have been much of a surprise Friday when 12-year-old Christina's rooster, Ryan, crowed 32 times in half an hour, winning the annual rooster crowing contest. Christina used a hen, Sharpay -- as in, Ryan and Sharpay, the brother and sister in "High School Musical" -- to encourage Ryan to make some noise.
Not to be outdone by much, 8-year-old Stephan's rooster, Kentucky Fried Chicken, came in second, with 26 crows.
"They're noisy," Roy said of her kids' roosters. The Hebron children also have dogs, rabbits and turkeys in the fair.
Nine roosters participated in the contest, held in the Rabbit and Poultry Barn, in what has become a tradition for the past 15 years or so. The contest is something fun to do the day after the auction, with no pressure, said poultry superintendent Ryan Mottinger.
While Christina and Stephan had tremendous luck getting their roosters to crow, other participants weren't so lucky.
Erica Wayne, 19, a 10-year 4-H'er from Hebron, and Harrison Gluth, 17, who's from Washington Township and has been in 4-H for nine years, tied for last place with roosters who didn't make a peep.
Enticing them with hens produced no response. At one point, Harrison brought out another rooster -- a bird so aggressive it nipped him -- and even that didn't get his rooster to crow.
Harrison's brother Tyler, 21, who also was in 4-H, tried to help, to no avail. The brothers practiced with the bird, named Richard, the day before the contest and got him to crow 14 times in five minutes.
"All we had to do is cluck at him and he crows," Tyler said, adding they couldn't even get Richard to crow once for the contest.
You can still make it with all the hens you want. Even if you're shooting blanks. But how is this good for the future of chickenkind?
The simple answer is that it isn't. A group of scientists studied feral chickens and found that age doesn't prevent a rooster from achieving high status - which means he gets first dibs on sex with all the hens. And that puts roosters and hens directly at odds with each other, since the rooster doing the most mating also has (due to age) the lowest probability of fertilizing eggs. Apparently this scenario is at its worst in groups of chickens dominated by hens. The scientists write:By experimentally manipulating the sex ratio of replicate groups of nine birds, we studied the relationship between male age and male social status under different intensities of intrasexual competition, and we found a signal of senescence in male social status only under intense competition. In groups in which six males competed over access to three females (6:3), socially subordinate males were older than males of higher status . . . However, in the more relaxed competition of female-biased groups (3:6), male social status was independent of male age.In other words, when many roosters are fighting each other, the younger and more fertile roosters get the most sexual access. Luckily for hens, though, it's typical to mate several times with different roosters - and their sperm competes with each other to get access to the hen's eggs. So even if the old guys get the first shot, their sperm may still get beaten out by a younger bird's genetic material.
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In the chart above: (A) Copulation propensity. (B) Probability of ejaculation. (C) Total number of sperm ejaculated. (D) Sperm swimming velocity (average path velocity, VAP). Solid lines represent predicted values from the model; dashed lines represent confidence intervals.]
According to zoologist Rebecca Dean, a co-author of the study:In evolution there are many battlegrounds, but nothing is more important than successfully reproducing. So, for hens, being monopolised by an impotent old rooster who will cause them to lay many infertile eggs is a disaster and amounts to a declaration of war. Our study shows that this sort of sexual decline is an engine driving sexual conflict in animals.
Chicken diapers?
Hobbies often hatch small-business ideas; chickens are no exceptionDid I ever tell you about the Pussy Pastie that I invented ten years ago? I didn't even have to make it. I just bought some baby pacifiers and packaged them with instructions for use:
Ruth Haldeman began adopting pet chickens in 2002. "I wanted fresh eggs, but I found that chickens are like peanuts, you can't have just one," she says. Before long, Ms. Haldeman had founded ChickenDiapers.com in Hot Springs, Ark.
"Everyone was talking about how there was a need for diapers," she says, given that chickens typically can't be potty trained. "Oh, lord, what a mess they make."
Ms. Haldeman, who is also a full-time chemist, designed a chicken diaper with a replaceable liner. She says it takes her about an hour to stitch one together, and her diapers are available in a variety of colors and patterns, such as rainbow and camouflage. She usually charges between $9 to $14 depending on a bird's size. Buyers hail from cities such as New York and Tacoma, Wash., and as far away as New Zealand.
"People like to have their chicks inside the house roaming free," says Ms. Haldeman, who declined to share how many diapers she sells a week because she's seeing more competition lately.
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In January, Kevin Tschida bought diapers from Ms. Haldeman for the four chickens he and his wife, Paula, live with in their rented single-floor home in Bakersfield, Calif. "They have made a huge difference," he says. "There is less smell in the house, less bending over."
Mr. Tschida says the birds, plus two ducks who wear diapers he bought from a different vendor, spend most of their time frolicking and sleeping indoors. "It is like the diaper removes them from the farmyard and gives them the status of pets," says Mr. Tschida, who also owns a dog, two cats, two parrots, a rabbit and some fish.
Do you hate to see your cat's wrinkly anus when it lifts it's tail? Just use one of Patrick's Pussy Pasties. Give your cat a Fancy Feast. As soon as it is purring, shove the Pussy Pastie into the offending orifice. The Pussy Pastie comes in all colors and you can even buy pink ribbons to tie on them for special occasions. The trick is to insert it quickly. WARNING: Never try to insert it a second time if you don't hit the bull's eye the first time as it may annoy the cat.
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