Thomas Paine: the most influential crank in American political history

From Bill Triplett's review of the new Tom Paine exhibit at the National Portrait Gallery:

Who was Paine? Depending on whom you ask, he was ­either an uncompromising free-thinker who made possible the popular embrace of the ­Declaration of Independence, or "a filthy little atheist," as Teddy Roosevelt once ­described him. A seditious subject of the English crown or an honorary French citizen chucked in the Bastille. Or just a fiercely American idealist with too much interest in brandy and democracy and not enough in fashion or personal hygiene.

All are more or less accurate—some more, others less—though Paine did firmly believe in God. Not that it made him any less polarizing.

"You either loved him or hated him," says Vikki J. ­Vickers, a history professor at Weber State University in Utah and author of a Paine biography. "There was no middle ground."

...

While noting Paine's birth in England and early career as a corset-maker, the exhibit ­includes an image of Ben Franklin, who had once met Paine in London and encouraged him to immigrate to the New World, which he did in 1774. By January 1776, Paine had produced ­"Common Sense," his readily ­accessible and passionate argument for independence that ­endeared him to the common man.

As Ms. Vickers notes, the debate on independence at the time was occurring among elites in the Continental Congress. "Some radical members advocated it, but nobody really was listening," she says. "With 'Common Sense,' Paine took the debate out of Congress and gave it to the people, who ­demanded it."

A copy is on display, as is one of "The Rights of Man," Paine's amalgamated defense of the French Revolution and ­attack on the English monarchy. Published in two parts between 1791 and 1792, it earned him a charge of seditious libel and led him to flee Britain forever. Paine went to Paris, where he received not only French citizenship but a seat in the new government, which he enjoyed until Robespierre decided he was a threat and ­imprisoned him in 1793.

Also displayed is a copy of "The Age of Reason," Paine's 1794 full-scale assault on organized religion, Christianity in particular. Paine was a deist, a believer in a god who created the world—but who never ­intervened in his creation and had no truck with churches. "All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to terrify and ­enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit," Paine wrote. And: "The Christian religion is a parody on the worship of the sun, in which they put a man called Christ in the place of the sun, and pay him the ­adoration originally paid to the sun."

"The Age of Reason" turned many Paine admirers into Paine haters. Much of the American public—once Paine's base of support—spurned him after his release from French prison, when he publicly blamed George Washington for not having helped secure his ­release. In a published letter from 1796 (part of the exhibit) to the then still-very-much-adored Father of the Country, Paine wrote: "As to you, Sir, treacherous in private friendship (for so you have been to me, and that in the day of danger) and a hypocrite in public life, the world will be ­puzzled to decide whether you are an apostate or an impostor; whether you have abandoned good principles, or whether you ever had any."

Paine had a bitter break with another friend, John ­Adams. "He broke with everybody except Ben Franklin," Ms. Christman says, "but only because Franklin died too soon. Paine really had a stick-this-in-your-eye personality."

...

Paine had enormous power with words, Ms. Vickers says, "a power that he himself probably didn't understand. During the Revolutionary War, George Washington made sure Paine kept writing to rouse public sentiment and support. If Washington thought him ­important, we should, too."

I've always loved the man who wrote these words of wisdom:

Society in every state is a blessing, but government, even in its best stage, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state an intolerable one.

That government is best which governs least.

A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right.

A thing moderately good is not so good as it ought to be. Moderation in temper is always a virtue; but moderation in principle is always a vice.

An army of principles can penetrate where an army of soldiers cannot.

Any system of religion that has anything in it that shocks the mind of a child, cannot be true.

Arms discourage and keep the invader and plunderer in awe, and preserve order in the world as well as property... Horrid mischief would ensue were the law-abiding deprived of the use of them.

Belief in a cruel God makes a cruel man.

But such is the irresistable nature of truth, that all it asks, and all it wants is the liberty of appearing.

Every religion is good that teaches man to be good; and I know of none that instructs him to be bad.

Every science has for its basis a system of principles as fixed and unalterable as those by which the universe is regulated and governed. Man cannot make principles; he can only discover them.

He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from opposition; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach himself.

I believe in the equality of man; and I believe that religious duties consist in doing justice, loving mercy, and endeavoring to make our fellow-creatures happy.

I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death.

If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace.

It is error only, and not truth, that shrinks from inquiry.

It is necessary to the happiness of man that he be mentally faithful to himself. Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving, it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe.

It is not a field of a few acres of ground, but a cause, that we are defending, and whether we defeat the enemy in one battle, or by degrees, the consequences will be the same.

Lead, follow, or get out of the way.

My mind is my own church.

Persecution is not an original feature in any religion; but it is always the strongly marked feature of all religions established by law.

Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.

Reputation is what men and women think of us; character is what God and angels know of us.

The greatest remedy for anger is delay.

Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it.

Titles are but nicknames, and every nickname is a title.

When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary.

Paine was by no means perfect but I love him - maybe because he, like me, was an immigrant who really appreciated that the United States is not only a piece of land but also the state of mind that produced the American Revolution.

Freedom from government

The American Revolution was unique. The Great Charter (Magna Carta) simply clipped monarchical government's wings a little bit but our Revolution was a total revolt against monarchical government or any sort of imposed authoritarian government.

It was a revolution for individual sovereignty and independence. It was a revolution founded on co-operation under the rule of natural and traditional common law (not the rule of one man or many men) among peers who realized the necessity for enlightened self-interest.

I know that Christians will disagree with me but, in my mind, the American Revolution was the culmination of Christianity from agape through the Reformation to the Enlightenment. It was a revolution that took into account the individual soul and the fact that each of us is beholden firstly to our Creator and secondly to Caesar.

Once our independence was won, the revolutionaries were then faced with a dilemma. They knew that government is necessary but they also knew that government is evil and completely hostile to individual sovereignty. They spent the next decade debating and creating the greatest (and only) charter which secured as much of an individual's freedom from government as possible.

The idea of individual sovereignty may be dead (or at least dormant) for generations to come but, like the Bible, the Declaration of Independence, Bill of Rights and Constitution will live forever and so will those who believe in true freedom and independence. Maybe for a thousand years or more the human race will ignore the wisdom of the American Revolution and probably experiment with ever-enlarging government and eventually One World Government.

I've accepted that the counter-Enlightenment concepts of collectivism, statism and socialism will prevail for a while but, if we keep the torch burning, one day human beings will realize that government can never (and should never) take the place of God - or whatever you want to call the goodness and beauty in whose image we are created.

Just as Christians know that Jesus' message will one day rule all souls, I know that the charter of our Revolution will one day be accepted as the highest form of civilization. This is why, even though I'm a heathen, real Christians are my best allies because real Christians know that all worldly government is a necessary evil.

And I intend to keep the torch burning through Google caches.

Queen of the Night - second night

Usually at this time of the year we stay up late to watch the Perseid meteor shower. Sadly it's been too cloudy to watch shooting-stars but we've had another heavenly display: our Queen of the Night.

Last night we had one flower and four more buds which we thought might all bloom together tonight. We went out to dinner with our favorite friends to our favorite restaurant tonight and, sure enough when we got home, the four new blooms had popped.

Once again the room was filled with that strange perfume. Yesterday I described the scent as "sweet and musky like vanilla with a whiff of skunk." I take back the "whiff of skunk." It's even more weird and wonderful than that. The perfume made me wonder if the yonis of the Queen of Sheba or Cleopatra smelled as intoxicating. Chas noticed that moths were beating themselves to death on the window panes trying to get into the room. As Andy, our resident orchid specialist, noted: the perfume has to be really intoxicating to the insects which pollinate it because it only lasts for one night. I've still got the scent in my nostrils two hours after I sniffed them.

Here you can see yesterday's flower and three of the unopened buds:



















Here's the dying flower from last night and three of the four new blooms.


















This pic shows that there is a fourth flower on the other side near our second freezer on the back porch:


















A closer look at the three new blossoms and the dead one dangling forlornly in the background:


















An even closer look. Keep in mind that each bloom is a foot in diameter. Check out the huge erect pistil with tentacles and the dozens of pollen-covered stamens.


















Sic transit gloria mundi.

Queen of the Night

Aka Dutchman's Pipe aka Orchid Cactus aka Epiphyllum oxypetalum:

This species was originally described from cultivated material and its true place of origin has never been truly understood. In 1909, C. A. Purpus collected a slightly different type in St. Ana, Orizaba, Mexico. It has carmine red outer petals and the flowers have an unpleasant smell, rather than being fragrant. It was originally named Phyllocactus purpusii, but does probably not deserve any botanical recognition.

Mexico to Venezuela, as well as Brazil. It also can be found, cultivated in parts of America with warmer temperature such as California. Epiphytic or lithophytic. 75-2.000 m alt. Widely cultivated and escaped in many places and its true origin has never been fully understood.

An easily cultivated, fast growing epiphyte. Needs compost containing plenty of humus and sufficient moisture in summer. Should not be kept under 10°C (50°F) in winter. Can be grown in semi-shade or full sun. Extra light in the early spring will stimulate budding. Flowers in late spring or early summer and large specimens can produce several crops of flowers in a season. This is the most commonly grown of the Epiphyllum species and known under several nick-names such as; Night Blooming Cereus, Dutchman's Pipe, Queen of the Night and Kadupul.

The flower of the Queen of the Night blooms for only one night. It only opens late at night and dies in the morning. Every year we forget to photograph it because it opens at bedtime. Last night we stayed up late.

The air in the enclosed back porch where it lives was dense with its perfume which is described above as an "unpleasant smell." Well, Chas does not like it. Andy tolerates it and I am intoxicated by it probably because it reminds me of my childhood when we had a Queen of the Night growing on the mango tree outside my bedroom window. The scent is sweet and musky like vanilla with whiff of skunk.

I buried my nose in the flower and inhaled the perfume. The feel of the silky soft petals and the sensuous scent reminded me of making love to an exotic woman in my youth. When I went to bed I had a sneezing fit that lasted for 15 minutes and I could still smell the perfume in my nostrils as I drifted off to sleep.

Here are three of the dozens of photos we took last night. The first was taken by Andy. The second one is by me showing that the flower is bigger than a milk-jug. The third one is By Chas.

There are four more buds which may all bloom together tonight.

Running out of Runner Ducks

Cross-posted at Chas' Compilation:

Miss Dilly, under the apple tree, April 2009

Our Indian Runner Duck, Miss Dilly, died Wednesday morning. She was listless and not eating for a couple of days beforehand. She often has gotten ill in the Summer, around molting time. I figured there was a Summer plant or insect that she would ingest that caused it. Each time she would recover, but not this time.

She was the last survivor of the pair of Indian Runner Ducks we got in 2006:



Pat and Andy bought them for me for my birthday. I always wanted to have some ducks, and these did not disappoint. They were adorable:



They ate like horses, and grew quickly. They would eat pieces of banana out of my hands; I became their mommy. They were very funny and amusing.



They aren't exactly "cuddly" like a dog or cat is, but they have a way of making you grow fond of them. We all got used to their ways, and they quickly became favorite pets. We named the boy "Daffy" and the girl "Dilly":



Domestic ducks seem a bit more intelligent than chickens, and have more of a personality. Ours quickly acclimated to being outside once the weather got warmer:



One of their favorite spots was the pool. Endless Fun, for them and us:



We built them a duck house, with an enclosed cage attached, and surrounded it with a fence and a gate. I would lock them in their house at night for safety. They seemed happy there.





We eventually moved the pool inside the duck pen, so they could linger there in the summer evenings. Ultimately, that turned out to be not a good idea, for reasons I'll explain soon.

Daffy, the Drake, was rather aggressive about protecting Dilly. Once he bruised my arm. I held his beak tightly and scolded him; he never bruised me again. He did often get under my feet though, and would peck at my legs. He could be a real pest when I was trying to get work done. But often it seemed like he wanted to play, and it was fun.

But our smallest Chihuahua, Herbie, didn't think it was fun. That dog and the drake didn't like each other, and I had to keep them separated.

One day that first summer, I came home to find a bloody trail from the dog run fence, leading to the drake cowering in the duck house, with a bloody beak. I suspected that he stuck it through the fence into the dog run, and the chihuahua bit it. His beak was cracked, but fortunately it healed. I "duck-proofed" the dog-run fence, so no beaks would fit through the lower portion.

They got through that first winter just fine.



Daffy was very attentive to and protective of Dilly, and she thrived on the attention.



The following summer was beautiful. The foraging ducks loved to eat slugs and snails, which helped the garden tremendously. Dilly gave us many, many delicious green duck eggs. She got sick a few times, we think from something she ate, perhaps poisonous salamanders, we never found out what it was, but she always recovered.

I got into the habit of driving the ducks into their pen in the evening, then letting them linger in their wading pool till sunset, when I would lock them in their duck house for the night. Ultimately that proved to be tragic.

As summer slowly slid into autumn, as it does here, it started getting darker earlier. I should have locked the ducks in their house right at Sunset every evening, but I hated to chase the ducks out of the pool. Since the duck pen was near the back porch, I left the porch light on so they could stay out longer. The dog run was nearby, so I figured that with the light on and the dogs near by, the ducks would be safe.

I figured wrong.

One evening, about an hour after sunset, I was going outside to lock the ducks up, when I heard Herbie barking frantically. I assumed he was barking at the drake, which we did sometimes. But when I got outside, I say he was barking at our shed/shop. His bark had a frantic quality. I felt uneasy and rushed to put the ducks away, only to find, to my horror, that the drake was missing. Suddenly I realized, the dog was barking at the shed because something had got the drake and dragged it under the shed.

A raccoon had climbed over the fence into the duck pen. Daffy had dried to protect Dilly, and the raccoon ripped his throat open, then dragged the carcass over the fence and under the shed to eat it. My beautiful drake, who I had been playing with just that afternoon, was gone forever.

My Beautiful Drake

I didn't realize racoons were hunters as well as scavengers. I found out the hard way.

Dilly, now alone, moped for quite some time after that. She walked around the farm for WEEKS, calling out for him.

It was impossible to get more runner ducks at that time of year. A nearby farm was selling pairs of Mallard ducks, so we got a pair to keep her company.



I named the Mallards Dally and Dolly. They probably were not the best choice for Dilly. I suppose it was better than nothing, but the Mallards were into eachother, and took a long time to bond with Dilly. Eventually they all got along fine, but it wasn't like the relationship Dilly had with Daffy.

When summer came, Dolly, the Mallard hen, cranked out quite a few eggs. Dilly didn't lay any eggs. I thought ducks would lay eggs even if they didn't have a mate, but she didn't.

I had clipped the Mallard's wings when we got them, to keep them from flying away until they thought of our farm as home. When they molted the next fall (2008), they got their flight feathers back, and began to fly around the farm. It was glorious to behold! They started making afternoon trips away, to a nearby lake, I suspect. I didn't mind, because they always came back in the evening. But then one evening, the drake returned alone.

We never saw Dolly again. We suspect she was shot by a hunter, but we'll never know. I clipped Dally's wings, so we wouldn't loose him too.



The Mallard and Runner Duck now made an odd couple. He tried mating with her in the spring, and I was going to let her hatch out a clutch, but again, she did not lay any eggs this summer.

Dilly also developed some white spotting on her feathers. I thought it odd, but she seemed healthy otherwise. But she may have had something wrong with her internally. She got weak over a period of a few days, and by Wednesday morning, she died.

I don't generally get all that sentimental about birds, but the Runner Ducks were an exception; they were almost like dogs.

Goodbye Dilly,



Goodbye Daffy,



My Wonderful Runner Ducks. Thanks for the memories, I will miss you.

I had read that runner ducks can live 12 to 15 years. I fully expected ours to. I resolved to take good care of them, but my inexperinece with predators got the one, and I'm not sure what got the other.

Advice for new duck owners who may be reading this: I read that most domestic ducks die from dog attacks, and that one should never leave a duck along with a dog, no matter how well they seem to get along. So I didn't leave them along together, but I also didn't anticipate the duck sticking his beak through the fence, looking for trouble. Make sure the lower part of a fence has wire mesh holes small enough to prevent that.

And I would suggest you ALWAYS lock your ducks up in a safe, predator-proof enclosure after dark. Don't let your pet be a literal "sitting duck" for a hungry animal.

Now I have one duck left, the Mallard Drake. I would like to find him a female or two, but it's hard to do this time of year. We were given the number of someone who has more Runner Ducks, but I don't think I want to try them again.

I wasn't crazy about the Mallards when we got them, because I hadn't rasied them from when they were babies, and they weren't very tame. They didn't like being touched, and would not eat out of my hand. But on the plus side, they didn't get underfoot while I was working; they didn't taunt or attack the dogs. The female was a great egg factory. And they were pretty smart about what they ate; nothing local seemed to make them sick. They are pretty and pleasant to have around.

And since we have one now anyway, the path of least resistance might be to stick with them and try to get more. We'll have to see what we can do.

The Lone Survivor

There's really only one political problem and only one solution

For eight years the Democrats called Bush Hitler and Republicans fascists. Now it's our turn to call them names. Problem is we are using the same words because we have been sucked into the commies' game and worldview. Well, duh! The Democratic party has been Marxist for 60 years. They were the ones who trashed the Constitution by expanding the role, scope and size of government in the first place. The Founders are rolling in their graves at how meddlesome and dictatorial the Federal government bureaucrats have become and the way Congress is poking its nose into other peoples' business.

The blame for this falls squarely on the Democrats for initiating the "government as God" concept but Republicans have also done (and still do) their own fair share of interfering nosy-parker busy-body mischief. As long as the two parties keep participating in the unconstitutional expansion of government power, we're going to see each other as dictators and fascists. It is the overwhelming size, scope and power of an unconstitutional government that makes each side fear each other. Of course the overwhelming size, scope and power of government has been exactly the Democratic Party's agenda for 60 years.

But Republicans have not opposed that expansion seriously enough and have in fact gone and introduced a whole bunch of other baggage that is not the government's business. By introducing our own brand of authoritarianism, we have also become feared by ordinary freedom-loving Americans. The only agenda that any political party should pursue is keeping government honest, simple and constitutional. Of course that's complete heresy to the Democrats so that leaves only us to keep insisting on limited constitutional government.

The only agenda that the GOP should pursue is to fight fiercely against the size, scope and power of an unconstitutional government. Leave all the social engineering to the commies. Of course we will need to educate people (or maybe re-educate) and show clearly how big government is the problem not the solution. The GOP can become the real American party by sticking to a simple agenda: we have unalienable natural rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness and the other rights mentioned in the Bill of Rights such as free speech, the right to bear arms.

Political opponents would have no fear of each other if they did not wield the power of unconstitutional government against each other. The truth is so simple that it's sometimes seems impossible to tell it because people are now so used to big intrusive government that they're almost deaf to the wisdom of our Founders; that government is a necessary evil and we should use it only sparingly.

If we had stuck with a limited and strictly constitutional government, our society would be a lot more civil and polite and the citizens would be less fearful of each others' agendas. Trouble it's not that easy anymore to make the case against out-of-control unconstitutional government. Constitutionalists will have to have the patience of saints to just keep speaking the truth knowing that we will eventually win even if it takes a thousand years.

Obamacrats and representation without taxation

Read the South African tax code for guidance on how to turn a civilized country into a commie banana republic overnight. Click on "individual taxation" and you'll get this. In other words it's a Kafka-esque nightmare of Marxist bureaucratic bullshit whereby 1% of the population pays 95% of the taxes - just like that other banana republic known as the USA - or the UK or any of the Western nations.

And guess who that 1% is. Nope, there are are not that many billionaires. That 1% includes a lot of middle -class small business owners like me. Yep, they're mostly white - even in South Africa where a big chunk of that 1% is (to quote a blog which appears first on a Google search) East Indian banyas. And that is cause for concern - except that it isn't; it's called historical inevitability. So suck it up or change history.

Well, guess what? Obamugabe is the agent of that change. He's not the first affirmative action figurehead. The Brits have the sucking up game down to a tee in their former colonies in Africa. But Obamugabe's not the first to want to have control over those who pay no taxes but have the squeakiest wheels. It's happened before. It's called Nazism/Bolshevism.

Obamugabe's the first affirmative action figurehead in the USA and that's a bit disappointing. One expects Obamas/Mandelas in Africa where whites are outnumbered nearly a million to one. But it's a bit upsetting when it happens in the last bastion of individual sovereignty, the USA. Color consciousness/affirmative action really is tedious and irrelevant nowadays.

Representation without taxation is a Marxist means to an end. (Oh, the poor!) The debts incurred by "stimulus packages" and "health insurance reform" are both means to an end. The means: create so much debt that tax increases are inevitable. The end: "redistribution of wealth" aka the government's got your balls in a vise aka serfdom. Say hello to the Brave New World of the Obamacrats and say good-bye to individual sovereignty.

If Republicans have not yet figured out that the battle is between the Obamacrats and individuals then they don't deserve to win. It's time to dump the bible thumping - all that moralizing is like re-arranging the deck-chairs on the Titanic and most people take religion and superstition with a pinch of salt - and focus on the real war: Who's the boss? You or the government? That's the real battle. I'm going to pick my allies carefully.

Shingles

About a month ago I was bitten by an insect. I thought it was a mosquito because skeeters love me and forgot about it but it got itchier and itchier. I could not see the bite because it was on my butt but Chas and Andy took a look and said that there were a bunch of red bumps near the bite so we concluded that I had been bitten by fleas which tend to do multiple bites. But the itching got worse and then the area became painful, swollen and hot. I decided that it could be a spider bite which had become infected so, after two weeks of increasing pain, I went to the doctor for antibiotics.

The doc gave me a prescription for antibiotics but said it was possible that the bite had triggered an attack of shingles and that I should also take a course of anti-virals. I still had not seen the bites so did not know what they looked like. I took the antibiotics first as I was not convinced that it was shingles but I'd never had shingles before and didn't know what to expect. The antibiotics got rid of the swelling and hotness but not the pain. So I started taking the anti-virals. Within 24 hours the pain and itching started to subside.

Let me backtrack a bit. Soon after I first noticed the bite, I began to have "dizzy spells." It would start as a tingling up my spinal cord and then my brain would become fuzzy and my eyesight become blurry. I thought I may be having a mini-stroke (TIA) because I had stopped taken my hypertension meds. I had to stop taking the meds because I was having fainting spells due to my blood pressure falling too low - sometimes as low as 80 over 60. The last thing I need is to pass out while I am driving and lose my license.

BTW A TIA (or mini-stroke) stands for Transient Ischemic Attack:

A TIA is a "warning stroke" or "mini-stroke" that produces stroke-like symptoms but no lasting damage.

TIAs occur when a blood clot temporarily clogs an artery, and part of the brain doesn't get the blood it needs. The symptoms occur rapidly and last a relatively short time. Most TIAs last less than five minutes. The average is about a minute.

The symptoms of a TIA are:

* Sudden numbness or weakness of the face, arm or leg, especially on one side of the body
* Sudden confusion, trouble speaking or understanding
* Sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes
* Sudden trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance or coordination
* Sudden, severe headache with no known cause

I've had a few TIAs in the past as well as a major stroke 6 years ago but my latest symptoms were slightly different. It felt more like I was coming down with flu. So I did some research and found that shingles causes similar symptoms:

Shingles symptoms happen in stages. At first you may have a headache or be sensitive to light. You may also feel like you have the flu but not have a fever.

Later, you may feel itching, tingling, or pain in a certain area. That’s where a band, strip, or small area of rash may occur a few days later. The rash turns into clusters of blisters. The blisters fill with fluid and then crust over. It takes 2 to 4 weeks for the blisters to heal, and they may leave scars. Some people only get a mild rash, and some do not get a rash at all.

It’s possible that you could also feel dizzy or weak, or you could have long-term pain or a rash on your face, changes in your vision, changes in how well you can think, or a rash that spreads.

Shingles usually occurs after the age of 60 and is often triggered by stress. Well, I'm over 60 and have had a lot of stress at the trailer park lately - being stabbed in the hand by a tweaker etc. Finally I decided that I needed to see what my rash looked like so Chas took a pic of my butt and sure enough it confirmed that I had shingles. Here's a picture of the shingles on my butt. (Hey, it beats a pic of that horse's ass, Obamugabe.)